Planning for your wedding could potentially be the most stressful experience you have ever created. The goliath task of planning a wedding can either be handed over to a professional, family member, or donned by you. If you are planning your wedding yourself, here is the wedding checklist to make sure you plan your day to emotional perfection. It does no one any good to plan the materialistic stuff perfectly and then be left feeling completely washed out; you and the groom are the stars of the show! This checklist helps to ensure your emotions don’t go haywire while you are trying to play superwoman:
- Communicate with your future spouse exactly where the both of you are at with the differing elements that constitute your wedding. Be sure to have the channels between the two of you clear before you announce your vision to outsiders, even if you have strong family traditions and ties, it is important for the two getting married to be in complete harmony from the start.
- Be utterly prepared for reactions from friends and family, whatever they may be. This is a run off from number 1. As you and your partner are completely secure in the decisions you are making, reactions from families and friends will not have emotional weight. You will be able to see clearly whatever seemingly negative aspect they are highlighting, without the emotional distortion. Explore ways and scenarios in which you handle and deal with any negative criticism in a responsible manner, literally being able to respond with what you know is truly best for you and your partner. Close friends and family around you will highlight any area of doubt within you.
- Talk about money, discuss as a unit how the finances should be distributed. If you suspect that your families wish to contribute towards the wedding (this is often the case in many of the traditional African weddings but may not be the case for ‘white’ weddings), take into account what expectations they may have. What level of involvement or commitment do you want them to have and how does this relate to the level of commitment and involvement they may expect to have? This is a vital question to ask each other.
- Know your choices and boundaries. It is important to be sensitive to how involved or not involved your friends and family want to be. Throughout the planning process, know your boundaries and how the people around you relate to them. Everyone has the ‘dominator’ archetype in their lives, how much they get to dominant you is up to you. By knowing your boundaries, it reminds you that you are the star conductor of this show. Also, know your family well enough to know who the overbearing characters are, and if your partner doesn’t already know, just gently inform your partner and practice ways of dealing with what you can see may arise.
- Know which elements of your wedding will be the most stressful. Know yourself too, and know your trigger points and tipping points. By recognizing these aspects before they bowl you over, you will be better equipped to deal with them in a balanced, responsible and harmonic manner.
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